Jesus Loves a Competition

Recently our boys’ youth group passed by me in church and said, “Your boys are constantly talking smack [with each other]. It’s so perfect for my message today: Jesus loves a competition.” 

I love a good moment of synchronicity. And at this moment, I found myself in one:

First this statement from the youth leader, then this week’s “3-2-1” email from James Clear included a thought I wanted to share with my students: “When you’re on the field, play as if nothing else matters. When you’re off the field, remember that the game doesn’t matter at all.” I liked how he simultaneously embraced the spirit of competition and recognition of humanity. 

The next piece of this synchronicity is the ongoing conversation at school about the level of competition appropriate for recess. And lastly, college football and NFL seasons have kicked off, so many of us are neck-deep in sportsmanship modeling for the children and teens (and adults) in our lives.

Examining Competition

Two things I’ve read recently remind me that competition is not just relegated to sports. This article mentions many ways that competition is infused into our lives, particularly those of college students. And the book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – And What We Can Do About It discusses how academic competition is rampant, largely harmful, and, in many cases, debilitating in our schools. 

At the heart of competition is comparison. As humans, we constantly evaluate how we stack up to the people around us, from the superficial wondering of how we look in that dress to the more material living up to our commitments at home or work to the deeper relationships in our lives and how we show up in others’ time of need. 

Many moments of comparison, bastardized by an unfortunate mindset focused on a feeling of scarcity over love and optimism, have twisted competition into a feeling of fear. A biological bent toward comparison that could allow us to see how we can better glorify God in our actions and help our fellow humans in their time of need has turned into an exhausting (and expensive) race to be at the top of some proverbial heap. 

We, the grown-ups, did this. We, the grown-ups, are perpetuating this. And we, the grown-ups, can slow this overwhelming roll of striving to get whatever we think there isn’t enough of. Being counter-cultural is hard. It can be painful and it can be limiting. 

But life is full of limits. The good news is anywhere we impose a limit creates space for something else. And when we say “no” to more of X and more of Y, we create space for discernment. Discernment for how we spend our time, with whom, to what end? What is our picture of success, and how are we pursuing it? Are we consistently aligning our family choices with the values we put out in the world? 

Competition For Good

So, let’s say we find time and space for some concrete, purposeful competition. How do we celebrate that work? In Never Enough, a group of friends pursue the same Editor-In-Chief position. Their advisor talks to all of them about the potential feelings that will follow when one person is awarded that title and responsibilities. A healthy conversation was had among the friends; they all applied, one earned the job, and two did not. Everybody learned something. 

Some of the fiercest competitors on my recess field—loud, fast, hyper-focused on a win—are the first to help a friend up, coach another child on how to be better next round, or go out without whining when the game doesn’t go their way. The competition creates a space for humility, honesty, and perseverance. It helps the children build empathy as they go. They learn how to manage disappointment, try again, and cheer on others. Teamwork is often listed as a benefit of sports and ensemble performing arts like choirs, band, or color guard. 

Experience in competition also helps our children understand Bible stories better. We can see how competition yields tragedy, like with Cain and Abel or Joseph and his brothers, but then also how persevering and sticking to one’s values yields glory and joy, like in the stories of Esther and Daniel.  Conversations around the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy competition help our young ones discern these life moments on their own later on. They need practice. 

How and where has achievement culture come up in your families? What are you sacrificing for “the win?” How are you balancing competition and contentment? In what ways have you felt the need to “push back” against a norm in your community that feels unhealthfully aimed at a kind of success you don’t actually value? Who out there is doing the best at combatting a toxic culture? Just kidding… it’s not a competition.