Praying Honestly & Irreverently

As a priest, my bookshelves are lined with prayer books. There are the obvious ones like The Book of Common Prayer, Book of Occasional Services, and A New Zealand Prayer Book, and the ones gifted to me at the beginning of my ordained ministry—Women’s Uncommon Prayers and a tiny red book of school chapel prayers. The prayer books I use most frequently line the left side of my desk, easily accessed while writing letters, sermons, Grow Christians posts, and liturgies. For what it’s worth, these books include Every Season Sacred, 99 Prayers Your Church Needs But Doesn’t Know It Yet, Black Liturgies, Every Moment Holy Volumes I & II.

Last month I added a new book to this all star lineup. I initially ordered a copy of Irreverent Prayers: Talking to God When You’re Seriously Sick because two seminary friends wrote it together. And because these two authors also contribute to Grow Christians, I knew the writing would be top notch with the right balance of snark and sincerity. What I didn’t except was just how many page corners I’d fold down and notes I’d write in the margins. As I read a Prayer for Sleep I jotted down the name of one parishioner whose grief keeps them awake at night. Praise for Scars is one I wished I had when another member finally graduated from his wound vac. And a Prayer for Selfishness is a prayer I will share with most folks experiencing serious illnesses because of its profound truth.

Praying for people comes with my job. I love it, but sometimes I feel that the words I offer fall short—too trite or too empty, and often too joyful. When that happens, I’ll write down or text a psalm of lament so that folks know people of faith have been yelling at God for long, long time (Psalm 58 is a favorite). Until reading this collection of prayers, I never thought to pray with such honesty during the actual pastoral visit.

Samantha and Elizabeth wrote recently, “It might sound unseemly for two ordained clergy to write — and advocate using — irreverent prayers, but the words ‘reverence’ and ‘awe’ are related to fear, and we long to teach Christians that we do not need to fear sharing our true feelings, in all their messiness, with God. God knows what is on our hearts anyway and longs for a deeper relationship with us.”

This book will not be for everyone. Some of our people will be unable to swear in their prayers or acknowledge anger at God or their situation. But for the one person whose faith is too precious for the updated Jesus Breath Prayer on page 50, I expect ten more will find it profoundly useful.

Inhale: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Exhale: Have mercy on me, a sinner.
Inhale: Christ, who suffered on a cross, Exhale: Remind me that I’m a badass.
Inhale: Spirit that breathed over the earth, Exhale: Let me exhale without a catch.
Inhale: Jesus, who healed all he saw, Exhale: Release me from pain and anger.

Irreverent Prayers is not simply another book I’ll grab from the corner of my desk to reference in an email. The prayers and personal stories Samantha and Elizabeth share will transform the way I offer pastoral care in my congregation. These prayers are reminders that two seemingly opposite things can be simultaneously true. We can believe in an unconditionally loving God and also feel like our sickness is a divine punishment. We can be exceedingly grateful for our friends and also wish they’d stop telling us how brave, strong, and inspiring for treating cancer. Our Christ can willingly fulfill God’s plan and also cry out from the cross, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’

I think ultimately acknowledging our fear, anger, anxiety, and doubt about the big and the little things in life will draw us closer to God. After all, isn’t this true with our friendships? It’s the people with whom we can be most honest and authentic that we call our closest friends. Why wouldn’t we trust God with our most authentic self, too?