Theology for Four-Year-Olds

“But dad, Jesus is God’s son. So Jesus can’t be God, too!”

I thought I’d get a longer grace period before having to explain the Trinity to my kids, but the question above, posed to me recently by my four-year-old while reading a book before bedtime, shattered that hope. Before I knew it, I was sitting with her on the elephant rug in her bedroom, trying to stumble my way to an acceptable answer. 

I’m a Children and Youth Minister and I love talking about theology, especially with young people. It’s one of my very favorite things to do. But on that night, I felt totally unprepared to explain what appears to be such a basic dichotomy, one which lies at the heart of our faith: Jesus just can’t possibly be God and also God’s son at the same time….right? It looks like a contradiction in terms.

No matter which way you cut it, the Christian teaching on the Trinity (one God in three persons) is difficult to comprehend and even more difficult to explain to others. I’m sorry to say that I can’t offer some sort of “3 easy steps to help your preschooler understand the Divine Essence” idea here. Frankly, I don’t think I was able to give my daughter a perfect answer that night either. But when I later reflected on our conversation, I came away feeling like my rhetorical stumbling was probably a gift in disguise. It got me thinking about my initial impulse when it came time for me to answer my daughter’s question: provide information. Or more directly, share some theological jargon adjusted with language suited for a young child.

Of course, sharing information is absolutely an important part of faith formation. But with kids (or anyone else), this is only helpful up to a point. In scripture, people who experience transformation usually do so because they have experiences of God. In fact, experiences of God often upset neat theological categories and presuppositions—think of Moses at the burning bush or Saint Paul on the road to Damascus. Encounters with God are often unexpected, confusing, and defy easy explanation.

Often the primary temptation when talking about faith, whether with our own kids, our Sunday school classes, or our skeptical friends, is to present propositions and then try to successfully defend them in conversation. Put another way: memorize the necessary doctrinal info, find ways to persuasively pass it on, then hope that it sticks. Rinse, repeat. But my sense is that Christian parents and educators should resist the impulse to lead with propositions when trying to communicate with kids about the shape of faith. Propositions about theology (for example, ‘God is triune’) may lead to a deeper knowledge of God, but will rarely lead to a deeper experience of God, especially for kids.

This means that while mature faith will certainly involve thinking through this claim versus that claim, it’s just not often the best place to start, especially with young people. Instead, a better way to teach kids about faith might be inviting them into theological contemplation (and perhaps even confusion) alongside us. The first goal of faith formation should be providing a glimpse of what our faith teaches—the divine life has broken into our world and that we are invited to participate in it through Jesus.

I wish that some of this had occurred to me while I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of my daughter’s bedroom, grasping at theological straws. And even now, this sort of approach feels easy to affirm in principle and hard to carry out in practice. What to do, concretely speaking, when faced with a direct question, as with the one mentioned above? There are no easy answers. But what a difference it might make to even begin adjusting our posture—to release the need to always offer perfect, packaged solutions and instead offer faith with an open hand.

What might it look like to teach our kids that faith is a relational journey, one which we spend a lifetime entering into more deeply, instead of a set of teachings to be absorbed? 

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As we approach Trinity Sunday, how might you talk with the children in your care about our one God in three persons? How might you help them experience the Trinity?