Knowing oneself from the very start

Do you remember who you wanted to be when you were six-years-old? What about your children?

My own kids answered this question with responses such as being the person who plants clovers for horses to eat or training to live as a secret, sneaky ninja. As adults, we often smile at the creativity of such answers. Sometimes we may nudge them toward books or conversations to help them fulfill such dreams. But more frequently I found myself simply nodding and asking questions to show my interest while knowing that this idea was fleeting.

But what if it wasn’t fleeting? What if children held onto these implausible dreams? Would they still be adorable responses or causes for concern?

Today we commemorate Catherine of Siena who was born in 1347 as the 24th of 25 children. She began receiving visions of Jesus Christ at age six, and the following year, she took a vow of perpetual virginity. This was not a pipe dream. At seven-years-old, Catherine knew exactly who she wanted to be at that moment and at all future moments. Her parents were not amused.

Catherine was expected to live the conventional life of a well-to-do Italian woman: marry and have children, lots of children, which is quite difficult if one has taken a vow of virginity. Catherine refused convention. It wasn’t until her father walked in on Catherine praying and saw a dove fluttering gently above her head that he abandoned his narrow idea for his daughter’s future.

Catherine then became a Dominican Tertiary; a lay member of the order who took vows, wore a nun’s habit but lived outside the monastery. She spent her first three years living at home under the same roof as the parents who spent a dozen years questioning her call. During the time, Catherine fasted often, slept little, prayed constantly, and left her sparse room only for Confession and Eucharist.

Then, at age 18 or 19 she entered a ‘mystical marriage’ with Jesus Christ. In this vision, the Virgin Mary took ahold of her right hand and extended it to Jesus who placed a ring on her finger. From this vision, Catherine understood she must break her self-imposed seclusion and start ministering the people all around Siena. She saw herself as an activist for God and so she visited folks who most people ignored—lepers, the imprisoned and hospitalized.

Five years later, she had another powerful mystical experience in which Christ exchanged her heart for his and she was bidden to engage the world beyond Siena. She began dictating and sending letters all over the place. Three hundred eighty-two letters have survived, and they are addressed to people from all different walks of life—ordinary Italians, monarchs, and popes. The central message running throughout these letters is the love of Jesus Christ.

“Nails would not have held God-and-Man fast to the cross had love not held them there.”
—Catherine of Siena

It’s true that if my six-year-old told me they secretly took a vow of virginity and planned on marrying Jesus Christ, I would smile, nod, and be grateful all the faith-at-home conversations were sinking in. It’s also true that I wouldn’t take them seriously.

Yet, Catherine knew with complete confidence who she was at six-year-sold and who she would become in the future. She didn’t comply with her parents’ vision, but with God’s. She makes me wonder about the ways I’ve narrowly defined my own kids’ future.  This afternoon I’ll sit down with each of them, ask them about who they want to be in life (not what they want to be), and genuinely listen to their responses.

[Image Credit: Bequest of Lore Heinemann, in memory of her husband, Dr. Rudolf J. Heinemann, 1996; Public Domain via the Metropolitan Museum of Art]